I tend, through my impulsive and passionate nature, to quickly climb the curtains. No, at 54 y.o, I have not yet completely corrected this folly of my personality. And, yes, I am well aware of the positive and negative impacts it can generate around me. For the past few months, I’ve been storming on stuff I see on social media. All these new trendy digital programs promoting all things to all people. Well, it is true that the “storm” calmed down over time, but I went through quite a colorful range of emotions. There have also been post-storms… the time when I “remain” silent to better understand what message I should get out of it.
It is precisely in such periods of silence that I realize that a little crisis can prove productive. Strongly saying “no” to something I do not want allows me to identify what is important to me. It increases my confidence, even though I haven’t figure yet how to express my message, which still lacks clarity and precision.
I have always written from my heart, and this time is no exception. It’s not easy to express an opinion, a comment or to say out loud what we think without hurting others. It’s a bit like getting naked in public. Welcome to my vulnerability, my courage, my boldness and my humility and my desire to write words that can be hesitant or even imperfect. Yes welcome to the world where authenticity and simplicity are everywhere in my life.
During a recent co-coaching session with my colleague and friend, I shared how difficult it was for me to express my message as a solo-entrepreneur. I guess it somehow does not really reach the people I want to co-create with and make a difference in their lives. I feel frustrated not knowing how to do while being on the road full time on board our motorhome “Merci la vie” (Thank you life). With a background of over 20 years in sales and marketing, I am now in a dead-end. Very few customers in what turns me on the most: coaching and leadership. And it’s terribly consuming my energy. I’ve been trying to put into words how I feel for months, hoping to find answers to the questions I ask myself.
We had a deep conversation to see what was hiding behind my frustrations and my emotions. My coach-friend managed to brilliantly ask questions that left me in a profound reflection. While discussing, I also heard myself going nowhere with my words. Everything was blurry, unclear, and confused. With her encouragement, patience and recommendations, I was slowly able to shed some light on this chaos. After the call, I knew I had to take a time off to better see and hear what was before me.
In the week that followed this rich conversation, I also started reading again Brené Brown’s book; “The Gift of imperfection.” These two elements put together had a significant impact on me and allowed me to clarify things.
Here are the steps that led me to transform my crisis into a vibrant and authentic message that can be seen, heard and read, despite the “noise” and “pollution” found in broadcast digital social media, which prevent us from really “connecting”.
- I want to honor my raison d’être (life mission), which is to connect authentically with people who cross my path by encouraging them to “play bigger.” I have a visceral desire to truly connect with people and look for a rich exchange that makes them grow. A connection where there is an energy that lives between two people; where everyone feels seen, heard and valued. Connecting also implies giving and receiving without judgment.
- I do not want to promote myself at all costs to build a coaching and leadership “business of six figures”. I don’t fit in this model. I do not feel any desire to belong. I need to be and to express who I really am. I am passionate, and passion just can’t be wrapped in a box that can be offered to everyone. I want to share my passion with simplicity and have those around me live a real experience. What happens with all these professionals (especially in my coaching profession?), who lure their customers with “free” stuff in order to sell them something at any price later? I have never seen so many coaches wanting to sell to other their “magical” recipes about how to make money or how to attract more customers. This kind of concept can be good for some, but it is not for me. My opinion is different, and it’s good like that. It is now very clear to me.
- I want to walk my talk. I want to be just as authentic with my clients as I am with me. Being authentic is like a ritual. It involves a variety of emotions, values, strengths and even fears. It is a conscious choice that generates powerful impacts around me; good and not so good. I assume them, because that is how I chose to live.
- On the road with “Merci la vie,” I want to experience simplicity in all its nuances. I do not need a $ 100,000 business to make a living. I identified my financial needs and I can share, give, offer and deliver more with less. I am comfortable with having fewer customers because it allows me to offer them so much more. Same goes for everything else needed on board for my adventure.
- I want to be gentle with me. I’m not here to beat myself onto the head. I want to celebrate my imperfections, as well as my successes.
- I know what is important for to me: I want to share my story, my expertise, and I want to spark conversations and, organize round tables that can lead to co-creative discussions (face to face or online with “Zoom”, an excellent digital tool), I want to offer my help and support to people who are prepared to jump into their dreams and projects or exceed their goals.
- I know who you are: you want to achieve your dreams, your projects and are ready to jump without a net … while trusting yourself even if you are aware or not. You are a solo-entrepreneur, a manager, a creative genius, a leader – everyone is a leader, isn’t it? You’re also a person in search of authenticity, human connection, transparency and simplicity. You want to get ahead while being responsible for your impacts. You are curious and open to change. You want to “play bigger.”
- I use digital technologies to share my tools more easily. My intuition tells me “yes” for a jump in balance. Why keep for myself all the gifts that are offered to me while on the road? It is through my blog that you will find some of my shares, or on my professional social media platforms (Facebook, etc.) or in one of my e-books. You will also find here and there a short video or a practical exercise of my coaching and leadership toolbox. After downloading them, do not expect the hundred of emails that might follow, because they won’t come! That’s just not what I want. There will be no formal offer guaranteeing a recipe for “happiness” by “subscribing to a series of webinars” and by paying a tidy little sum of money in return… I believe in a system of honor and I invite anyone who follows me in the community that I want to create, to contact me for a conversation; to try me out; or to provide feedback or suggestions on one of my articles.
- I want you to identify what you really need in order to go ahead and then freely decide if you wish to be accompanied and co-create with me. Where would it lead you to take a little of “this precious time” that life offers you to plunge and invest into yourself, so you can bring out the best of who you are?
- I want to share the passion that drives me and I can succeed by creating a connection and making contact with you. For a live connection, we have to feed and grow on both sides. I need you to get there. I cannot connect with furtive “voyeurs”, because those connections die in their own silence. Without empathy, without love and without contact, I cannot make you grow.
Having now been on the road aboard “Merci la vie” for 18 months, I continuously learn through the people who cross my path and share their wonderful stories. I remember one of my last encounters in Coronado Island in San Diego; Virginia, a bubbly, lit and passionate lady who has seen 97 springs, and shared with me her recipe for happiness. I can still see the sparks in her eyes.
I really need to share more of those stories in my life, without fanfare. And when these connections full of lights are presents, my passion comes alive and there is no limit to what I can achieve with the people around me. I invite you to contact me, even if you do not know why. Even if it is only to say “hello”. If you would like to open a conversation, let’s not let money, shyness or fear be obstacles between us. I cannot reach out to you more candidly. It is up to you now, to make a move. A first step is the beginning of a new adventure, a new history and an authentic sharing.
I wish you, for this wonderful holiday season, that your light shines and can be shared with people around you. Peace, love and joy in your heart.